haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Sorry my hands just texted you
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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