maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
