Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
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