Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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