Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Randomize