i just wanna soil my oats bro
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize