rhymes with "ouble enetration"
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
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