So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Randomize
