Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Randomize
