Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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