Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Randomize
