that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
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