I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
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