Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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