? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
