You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
