I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
