I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
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