Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
