is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
