what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
