do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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