Acid is not a monday night drug
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
