so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
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