wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I just want to make out with him forever
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
