She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
