Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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