i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
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