haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
