I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Randomize
