just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
