No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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