yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
