Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
