pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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