Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
