I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
i dont even know how to be here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Congratulations! We have a period
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
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