she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
