this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
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