You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
