Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
