dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
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she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
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I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
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