i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
