My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
nutella sex= disaster
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
