He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
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