there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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