You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
