yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
