do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
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