Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
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