i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
