it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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