i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
