I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
